FUNNY: Portland’s Nauseatingly Bad Travel Poem, Now With Real Video
So the Portland Travel firm had the bright idea this month of trying to monetize the city’s misery. More about this epic and expensive fail here.
Which travel promo do you prefer? Here’s the Parody.
Here’s the original.
Best answer, in a poem preferably, gets a t-shirt from the West Coast’s most reliable news source, PressCalifornia.com.
Haiku
City of roses?
Trust your noses…
That smell is poo
Portland is even scarier than San Francisco.
I lived in Portland in the mid-seventies. Saw the beginnings of the “weird” culture and recognized the coming of the eventual dysfunction. The final outcome should shock no one. What Portland suffers from today was proudly crafted fifty years ago. You have what you created.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Portland looks like it sucks,
Just like my poetry.
Yup, your poetry sucks, but Portland sucks even worse. I stopped there for work 2 days, 15 yrs ago. Couldn’t believe all the butch women, cross-dressing men with 5 o’clock shadow, and freaks with mohawk hair spikes and face piercings. Nobody blinked, it was the norm there… now, it’s a giant magnet for transsexuals and lesbians.
Meanwhile the rest of the country is praying the whole west coast is nuked to oblivion.
no, no Sunshine! where else could we dump our trash people if not for the Left Coast
About 90% of America’s LGBTQP’s have migrated to the west coast… that’s why they are so shortsighted out there (they can’t reproduce with bum sex). They don’t care about what happens to your kids… they’ll be poof gone. Let’s hope that whole coast drops into the Pacific soon… what a shame.
They could set up bleachers and sell tickets for the riot season coming up.
First one is pretty funny. I bet that guy could come up with a good one for California.
I’d rather see this guy do it. Good Lord his videos are hilarious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysmLA5TqbIY
When did Oregon become such a freak show?
I worked in downtown in the late 90s and early 00s. I liked working there but avoided certain areas due to gang activity. Now its just a total dumpster fire.
The rest of Oregon, especially the East, would do well to secede to Idaho.
You can keep Portland, thanks but NO.
An enthusiastic “two-thumbs up.” Now, please do one on Frisco. You can’ start with the walk-in-take-what-you-want-and-go shoplifting at all the Walgreens…but they might not be there for much longer.
Haiku 2
meth heads sprawl pantsless
on the city bus
their reek remains
forever
Many a truth is said in jest
A haiku
City with bridges
Knows not when to stop burning
All of its bridges
There once was a city of Roses.
That saw itself as a modern day Moses.
Listen to me, it said.
Filling all with dread,
Because it had awful halitosis.
That’s all I got.